. Your essay is quite good: just _____ it _____ with a few illustrations and quotations.
A．put .. up
B．touch .. up
C．cut .. out
D．write .. off
试题“. Your essay is quite go...”；主要考察你对
等知识点的理解。
阅读阿来的如花世界（15分）迟子建①阿来与花，是否有着前世的姻缘？至少，我没见过像他那么痴迷于花的男子！我与他多次同行参加中外文学交流活动，无论是在新疆、黑龙江，还是在俄罗斯、意大利或是阿根廷，当一行人热热闹闹地在风景名胜前留影时，阿来却是独自走向别处，将镜头聚焦在花朵上。花儿在阳光和风中千姿百态，赏花和拍花的阿来，也是千姿百态。这时的花儿成了隐秘的河流，而阿来是自由的鱼儿。印象最深的是他屈膝拍花的姿态，就像是向花儿求爱。②未认识阿来之前，读了令他名声大噪的《尘埃落定》，判定写它的人一定是个内心世界极其丰富的人。比起他的小说，阿来不高大，但他气质不俗，面上总是洋溢着平和的微笑，走起路来微微踮脚，富有喜剧色彩，整个人就像一首精短的抒情诗，与他热爱的花朵相得益彰。他幽默、睿智、豪爽、率性，与他同行，就是与快乐同行。记得在阿根廷，一个月色很美的夜晚，在一家乡村旅馆里，阿来请全团的人喝酒，他喝兴奋了，歪戴着帽子，拍手舞蹈着，唱起藏族的《祝酒歌》，那是我那一年听到的最动人的旋律。阿来如果不写小说，一定是个出色的歌手。他的歌声深情而忧郁，把我们深深感染了，大家情不自禁地跟着他唱起家乡的歌谣。那个夜晚的阿根廷的月亮，一定成了扩音器，把来自大地的歌声，播撒到了天庭。③阿来是个会享受生活的人。他常带上钟爱的相机，带上书和茶，独自驾车出游。他的博客和微博，像花园，也像森林氧吧，你走进那里，总能看到花儿的影子，嗅到植物的清新之气。他的作品，也是这样的充满了生机，大气而唯美，绝无顾影自怜的小伤感，更无貌似深刻的装神弄鬼。他有一支开阔而富有韵致的笔。众生在他笔下，都是平等的。如果说好小说是露珠的话，阿来的文字幻化成的就是露珠，熠熠闪亮，有着经典的光泽。《尘埃落定》之于阿来，是一顶沉重的桂冠。如果是一个心在庙堂的作家，可能会就此迷路，不知所向，失去创造力。而阿来是个被山峦照耀着的作家，是被河流滋养着的作家，这样的作家，本身就是一座山，就是一条河，在他自己的疆域驰骋，永不疲倦，留下艺术的脚步。所以我们能在《尘埃落定》之后，仍然能听见《空山》的回音，能看见闪光的《格萨尔王》。④阿来出生于四川省阿坝州的藏区，有藏族血统。记得他在墨西哥，为母亲买了一串珊瑚项链。他提着项链对我说，一串好的珊瑚项链，就是一个藏族女人的梦。阿来写过诗，他的话充满诗意。他对藏族的感情，除了融汇到作品里，还体现在他的言论上。记得他写过一篇关于西藏的文章，没有那种强加于人的说教，他褪去了西藏那层“外人”幻想的神秘色彩，还原了一个历史的西藏，现实的西藏，文化的西藏。按照他的说法，就是把一个越来越形容词化的西藏，客观地厘清，成为一个名词的西藏。这样的西藏立场，深刻，全面，充满人性。⑤阿来喜欢读书，今年我们在意大利参加首届中意文学论坛，在听完阿来的演讲后，同样饱学诗书的清华大学教授格非，高度赞扬他的演讲。说从同行者的发言中，能看出他们的边界在哪里，而阿来的却看不到，他是不可限量的。我想，他骨子里流淌着藏族血液，在山里长大，早年有过“游走”经历，对历史有着独到的认识，对生活有着浓厚的兴趣，对文学有着自觉的审美追求，的确，他的天空是没有边际的。⑥中国能够真正走向世界的作家并不多，阿来是其中的一个。走向世界，在我眼里，并不仅仅是你的作品被翻译的语种多，更不是你的译本多么畅销。因为在这个时代，那往往是政治的投机或是商业的迎合所带来的热闹。真正的文学，还是有它自己的尺度，有它自己的价值。阿来的作品，因为唱诵着本民族独有的歌谣，因为那股与生俱来的神性色彩，因为作品漫溢的人性光辉，真正代表了中国文学。要知道，不论什么样的出版商，在面对着能给读者带来心灵泉水的作品时，都不会无动于衷的，而阿来的作品就具有这种品格。⑦虽然认识阿来很多年了，但交往并不多。相信他也有不为人知的忧伤，有他的脆弱，有他在文学之路上的困惑和彷徨，那是每个好作家都必然经历的。写他的这篇印象记时，恰好读到阿来写果洛的一篇散文，我非常喜欢其中的这段话：“风景从地平线上升起来，敞开，逼近，再敞开……然后，是我这个旅行者，以及载着我的旅行工具，从其间一掠而过。风景从身边一掠而过：缓缓起伏的丘岗，曲折萦回的溪流，星星点点的湖沼，四散开去的草滩，还有牧人，和他们的帐幕，和他们的牛羊……再然后，那些风景在身后渐渐远去，闭合，滑落到天际线下。”⑧阿来不知道，他穿行于这样的风景当中时，自己也成为了风景。他的如花世界，在尘埃与云朵之间，如此绚丽！
—选自《中华读书报》；日。小题1:根据全文的内容，概括介绍阿来其人。（80字左右）（4分）小题2:结合文意，根据要求分析文中画线的句子。（5分）(1)这时的花儿成了隐秘的河流，而阿来是自由的鱼儿。这个句子运用了
修辞手法，其表达效果是
（3分）(2)阿来的文字幻化成的就是露珠，熠熠闪亮，有着经典的光泽。划线词语“经典”的含义是
（2分）小题3:简要分析第⑦、⑧两段在文章中的作用。（3分）小题4:对本文理解和分析不正确的一项是（
A．标题“阿来的如花世界”巧妙道出了作者对阿来其人的总体印象及评价。
B．全文结构安排匠心独运，清晰有序，让读者对阿来的认识由表及里，不断深入。
C．本文熔记叙、描写、抒情、议论于一炉，语言质朴平实，篇章隽永，耐人寻味。
D．“他穿行于这样的风景当中时，自己也成为了风景”化用自卞之琳的《断章》中句子“你站在桥上看风景，看风景的人在楼上看你”。
阅读下文，完成小题（共22分）——给女儿的一封信 刘墉 ①今天下午，你去上中文课之前，我看见你不断地翻书，一边翻，一边数，然后得意地说你这个礼拜读了两千多页的课外书，一定能得奖了。过去的两个礼拜，爸爸也确实看见你每天才吃完饭，就抱着书看，爸爸还好几次对你说：“刚吃完饭，应该休息休息，让血液去肠胃里工作。如果急着看书，血都跑到脑里去了，会消化不良。而且刚吃饱比较糊涂，读书的效果也不好。”只是不管爸爸怎么说，你都不听，才把书放下几分钟，跟着又拿起来。你读书的样子好像打仗似的，好快好快地翻，读完的时候还大大喘口气：“哇，我又读了一本。”现在，爸爸终于搞懂了。原来你们中文班上有读书比赛，每个礼拜统计，看谁读得多。爸爸不反对这种比赛，它确实鼓励小朋友读不少中文书。只是，爸爸也怀疑你到底能记住多少，又读懂了多少。如果你只是匆匆忙忙地翻过去，既不能咀嚼书里的意思，又不能欣赏美丽的插图，甚至不能享受那些故事，获得读书的乐趣——你读得再多，又有什么意义呢? ②还记不记得两三年前，有一次爸爸妈妈带你去自然历史博物馆，进门时，有人发个小本子给你，说“欢迎参加发现之旅”。原来他们在博物馆各个角落，设立了许多站。每到一站就可以盖个章。一整本都盖满章的小朋友，则能得到一份小奖品。爸爸也非常欣赏博物馆的美意，知道他们希望借着这个方法，使小朋友能到每个展览室去参观。只是，那天没见到几个细细参观的小朋友，倒是见到不少家长，疲于奔命地跟着孩子跑来跑去——包括你的爸爸妈妈在内。你也得到一份奖品。但你想想，我们去博物馆那么多次，你那次是不是最累，却最没看到什么东西?读书就跟到博物馆一样。你可以“精读”，从头到尾只待在一间展览室里，研究一两样东西；你也可以“浏览”，到处走走，遇到感兴趣的，就多读一下展品的说明。读书也可以像是参加“发现之旅”的比赛。大家拼命读，拼命冲，比谁读得多，谁考得好。只是到头来，很可能没见到多少，没学到多少，徒然得个虚名，却浪费了时间又搞坏了身体。在这儿爸爸要告诉你两句孔子说过的话——孔子说：“把已经学过的东西，常常拿出来温习，不是很喜悦的事吗？”孔子又说：“只知道学习，却不进行思索，到头来等于白学；只靠思索却不去学习，则变得危险了。”在孔子的这两句话里提到了三个词，也就是“学”、“习”、“思”。“学”是指“学新的东西”。“习”是讲“温习”，也就是把学过的东西再温习一下。“思”是讲“思索”，让学到的东西能在脑海里多打几个转，甚至引发一些自己的想法，产生一些自己的创意。现在，爸爸要问你，你这个礼拜读了两千多页的书，算是“学”，是“习”，还是“思”?你的答案大概只有“学”吧! ③孩子！你总是去图书馆，那里的书是不是好多好多，让你读一辈子也读不完?如果有个人天天都去读书，一辈子读了几千万页的书，他还有时间写文章、写书，或把学到的东西拿来使用吗？这也好比前两个月，爸爸说要种番茄，从图书馆里借了七八本教种番茄的书，爸爸一页一页看，只怕到现在还在读书，我们的后院又怎么都有已经结了的番茄呢？所以，书虽然不会动，像是“死的”，但是里面的学问是“活的”。那活的学问又好像种子，你必须把它拿出来，播到土壤里，每天浇灌，常常施肥，才能长出果实。如果你根本不把种子拿出来，或播完种，却忘了，任它自生自灭长一大堆杂草，是不可能有好的收获的。 ④孩子!爸爸不要你拿第一，只希望你做个快乐的读书人，而且快乐地读，快乐地用，常常温习，常常思索。我希望你每星期只读一两本书，却能在读完之后对我提出很多自己的想法，甚至有一天对我说： “爸爸!你看我也模仿那本书，写了一个小故事，我还画了几个插图呢! 小题1:第1段画线句用了
的修辞手法，其表达效果
。（4分）小题2:第2段作者讲了孔子关于“学”、“习”、“思”的2句话，请任选一句，用孔子的原话表述。（2分）小题3:谈谈对第3段画线句中“死”与“活”的理解（4分）死：
小题4:作者因为女儿
的原因，例举了
的事例和借鉴了孔子关于读书的言论，提出了希望女儿做个快乐的读书人的想法。（9分）小题5:对于做个快乐的读书人的理解，下列哪种说法与文意相符一项
A．咀嚼书里的意思，欣赏美丽的插图，获得读书的乐趣。
B．既可 “精读”，也可 “浏览”，还可像参加“发现之旅”比赛那样读。
C．慢慢地读，悠闲地读，重在劳逸结合。
D．快乐地读，快乐地用，常常温习，常常思索。
课内现代文阅读（18分）不必说碧绿的菜畦，光滑的石井栏，高大的皂荚树，紫红的桑葚；也不必说鸣蝉在树叶里长吟，肥胖的黄蜂（
）在菜花上，轻捷的叫天子(云雀)忽然从草间直（
）向云霄里去了。单是周围的短短的泥墙根一带，就有无限趣味。油蛉在这里低唱，蟋蟀们在这里弹琴。翻开断砖来，有时会遇见蜈蚣；还有斑蝥，倘若用手指按住它的脊梁，便会啪的一声，从后窍喷出一阵烟雾。何首乌藤和木莲藤缠络着，木莲有莲房一般的果实，何首乌有臃肿的根。有人说，何首乌根是有像人形的，吃了便可以成仙，我于是常常拔它起来，牵连不断地拔起来，也曾因此弄坏了泥墙，却从来没有见过有一块根像人样。如果不怕刺，还可以摘到覆盆子，像小珊瑚珠攒成的小球，又酸又甜，色味都比桑葚要好得远。小题1:填出文段括号中的两个动词：
。（2分）小题2:这段文字写到了哪几个季节？从哪里可以看出来？（4分）
小题3:文中对拔何首乌根的描写有什么作用？试从“我”的心理和百草园对“我”的影响两方面加以回答。（4分）
小题4:指出画线句子所运用的修辞方法及其作用。（2分）
小题5:请你用简洁的文字概括出作者在百草园泥墙根一带所做的事。（3分）例如：拔何首乌 、
。小题6:用文中划线的句式“不必说……也不必说……单是……”写一段话。（3分）
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旗下成员公司Essay Writing | English for Uni
Essay Writing
Ms Parrot: Essay Chef
View the video, then try the
to test your knowledge! Watch the whole story, or see
Download the
of the video or download the
To view the video on the Chinese site youku please .
To view the individual chapters of the above video, you can either click the 'PLAYLIST' menu item in the above YouTube video and select the chapter from there, or, you can click one of the pictures below and view the individual video on YouTube.
Essays help you discover more about a topic and write a reasoned analysis of the issues in question, using a range of external sources to support your position.An essay is a highly structured piece of writing with follow a typical pattern:
Writing a good essay can be compared to baking a cake&if you do not mix the right ingredients in the right quantities or order, and do not follow the required processes, then the end result will not be what you hoped for!There is no set model for an essay, but the English for Uni website presents one popular way to do it. The following example is based around a 1000 word discussion essay. To read about essays in greater detail, download this
It is important for you to analyse your topic and title very carefully in order to understand the specific aim of the question. To do this, you need to break down the question. Most essay questions will contain these three elements:
Content/Topic words give the subject of the essay. Limiting/Focus words provide a narrower scope for the essay. Directive or Instructional words tell you how to approach the essay. Look at these sample essay titles from A) Economics and B) Nutrition:
In example B, answering the question fully involves looking closely at the directive word Discuss and analysing its exact meaning.
Discuss: Present various points and consider the different sides. A discussion is usually longer than an explanation, as you need to present evidence and state which argument is more persuasive.
So, in your essay entitled:
&Chocolate is a healthy food&. Discuss.&
you would need to:
&&&& consider a number of points in relation to the title
&&&& balance your points between supporting and opposing positions
&&&& consider which of the positions is the most persuasive and explain why
You also need to consider the length of your essay. In a 2000 word essay you can cover more points than in a 1000 word one! This example is based on a 1000 word essay.
In relation to Content words your focus is clear: chocolate!
In relation to Limiting words, you need to consider what healthy food actually means. A good way to expand your vocabulary is to look at the
(developed by Averil Coxhead at Victoria University of Wellington in New Zealand). The
website also has very useful lists of words found in particular subjects, such as mathematics, business and health science.
Directive or Instructional words
There are a number of directive words, or instructional words as they are sometimes called, which& tell you what to do in your essay. Some common directive words include:
Look at something in depth, examining the details.
Give reasons for why you agree or disagree with something and show that you understand different points of view.
Compare different points and see if the argument or information is true or persuasive.
Show the similarities between two sets of information or arguments. &Compare& often appears with &contrast& in essay questions.
Show the differences between two sets of information or arguments. &Contrast& often appears with &compare& in essay questions.
Evaluate an argument or a text to see if it is good. &Criticise& does not mean you have to be negative.
Evaluate an argument or a text to see if it is good. &Critique& does not mean you have to be negative.
Explain the meaning of a word or a term, especially in the context of your essay. You can use a dictionary definition if it&s helpful, but remember that the word might be used in a particular way in the subject you are studying.
Give details about something.
Look at the different sides of an argument and say which is more convincing. Help your reader to understand more about something by giving relevant details.
Look at the strengths and weaknesses of the material and give your final opinion of it.
Look at the strengths and weaknesses of the material and give your final opinion of it.
Help your reader to understand more about something by giving relevant details.
Illustrate
Give examples to make something clearer.
Help your reader to understand more about something and provide your own perspective if necessary.
Give reasons to explain what you think about a subject.
Give a broad explanation of something without too many details.
Show if something is true and demonstrate how you reached that conclusion.
Look at something in detail and give your perspective on it.
Put your ideas or arguments clearly.
Pull everything together and present it clearly without using too much detail.
Brainstorming means producing ideas related to a theme. You can write the ideas down in any order.
Here is a possible brainstorm for the chocolate essay, done in the form of a mind map:
Note that the central focus (the essay question) has several boxes linked to it which represent the writer&s first ideas. Other boxes area then added. A brainstorm
it does not necessarily stop growing. You can add, remove or reorganise it as you wish. If you like to put more system into your brainstorm, use a step-based model such as the following:
Step 1 Time yourself for the first draft of your mind map
Set a fixed time for this drafting from your base topic/question and stick to it.
Step 2 Look critically at your draft Which ideas could you develop or remove? Is there a balance of ideas?
Step 3 Think about ordering Which issues might you tackle first in your essay and why?
Step 4 Anticipate readers& needs Are there any words and/or phrases that might need explaining? If so, when is the best time in the essay to do this?
Step 5 Move Reflect upon your brainstorming. Once you are happy with your brainstorm you can use it to plan your essay.
Once you have done some brainstorming, it&s time to get researching!
Remember that an academic essay requires academic sources.
Finding what you want takes time and effort. The best place to start (assuming you haven&t already been given a prescribed reading list!) is by using an academic database. If you are not sure how to use a database, then book an appointment with your subject librarian at your institution.
Another option is to use an internet academic search engine such as Google Scholar. N.B. Make sure you are logged in to the library at your educational institution, so that you can use the full database capacities linked to Google Scholar.
You need to enter keywords to begin with. For the chocolate essay, one of the first associations we thought of was chocolate and mood. If we enter these words into Google Scholar it will look like this:
This will take you to a webpage which lists a number of relevant articles, like this:
The first two articles have been cited 90 times and 103 times respectively, suggesting that they might be good sources for your essay. The links to the right indicate that you can access the articles through your university website.
If you think an article looks promising, click on the link and look at the abstract:
Read the abstract and ask yourself if the content of the article is likely to be relevant to your essay.
a) If yes, click on the pdf. This will take you to the full article which you can then skim read quickly to decide if it is relevant. b) If no, then you have a choice. Either click on the links to other related articles or go back to Google Scholar and then choose another article to skim read.
If you do not find what you are looking for, then you need to change your keywords search.
When you have found what you think might be useful, make a note in your plan at the appropriate place.
Do the same thing for all the points that need academic references to support them.
Remember that during your research you might discover new issues and perspectives that you hadn&t considered before, so your original plan might be quite different from the final one!
Once you have brainstormed your ideas and done some initial research, start putting them into a logical order as part of the essay planning process. Brainstorming helps you to see what you know about the topic. Researching will give you more depth. Brainstorming, researching and planning are cyclical, which means that each process helps the other processes and you might want to do each process more than once.
Here is the brainstorm for the chocolate essay again, which you can use to develop the planning process:
Planning or a plan?
In the first instance, it is important to distinguish between planning and a plan.
Planning is an ongoing process, from when you receive the essay title to when you submit your final draft. A plan is a physical outline of the way you intend to conceptualise, structure and present your ideas.
Plans can be structured/restructured at any time during the planning process.
At this point it is time to write your first plan. However, do not stop doing research yet. Why not?
Remember that a plan is just that&a plan. It can be modified after
you might discover some different perspectives or issues you hadn&t previously anticipated.
Example: Developing an essay plan after research (linear style)
Title:& &Chocolate is a healthy food.& Discuss.
Introduction Context for paper & popularity of chocolate. Issue & whether chocolate is a healthy food is questionable. Thesis & chocolate may be enjoyable but not healthy. Scope & (only 4 aspects are covered here to keep the example short)
Can positively impact on mood
Possible health benefits for cardiovascular system
Chocolate can be seen as a drug rather than a food
Potential correlation between over-consumption of chocolate and obesity
Main body Paragraph 1 with possible sources Ways in which chocolate can impact positively on mood. &Feel good effect& - Parker, Parker and Brotchie (2006), Scholey and Owen (2013), Macht and Dettmer (2006) and Macht and Mueller (2007).
Is the chocolate and improved mood scenario measurable/transient? Parker, Parker and Brotchie (2006) & chocolate mood effects do not last. Macht and Dettmer (2006) & anticipation effect and more studies needed.
Paragraph 2 Possible benefits of chocolate on cardiovascular health & how much/what type(s) of chocolate have benefit? (Sources needed to help answer these questions.) Problems with measuring correlation between chocolate consumption and cardiovascular health. (Sources needed to help answer this.)
Paragraph 3 Chocolate best viewed as a food or a drug? Indulgence or addiction & are the boundaries unclear? (See what external sources have to say on this) Medication elements of chocolate? (Readings needed around this issue.)
Paragraph 4 The correlation between chocolate and obesity. (Definition of obesity needed.) What does the literature say in relation to other causal factors?
Conclusion Summary of four arguments presented. Chocolate is not a healthy food, but it is enjoyable nevertheless.
Example: Developed essay plan (linear style)
Title:& &Chocolate is a healthy food.& Discuss.
Introduction Context for paper & popularity of chocolate. Issue & whether chocolate is a healthy food is questionable. Thesis & chocolate may be enjoyable but not healthy. Scope & (only 4 aspects are covered here to keep the example short)
Can positively impact on mood
Possible health benefits for cardiovascular system
Chocolate can be seen as a drug rather than a food
Potential correlation between over-consumption of chocolate and obesity
Main body Paragraph 1 Ways in which chocolate can impact positively on mood. &Feel good effect&-Parker, Parker and Brotchie (2006), Scholey and Owen (2013), Macht and Dettmer (2006) and Macht and Mueller (2007)
Is the chocolate and improved mood scenario measurable/transient? Parker, Parker and Brotchie (2006) chocolate mood effects do not last. Macht and Dettmer (2006) & anticipation effect and more studies needed.
Paragraph 2 Possible benefits of chocolate on cardiovascular health & how much/what type(s) of chocolate have benefit? Can provide heart-friendly flavanols (Hannum, Schmitz, & Keen, 2002) & helps with blood clotting and is anti-inflammatory (Schramm et al., 2001) Maximising benefits of chocolate lies in minimising fat levels (Hannum, Schmitz, & Keen, 2002). Current processes destroy flavanols (Hannum, Schmitz, & Keen, 2002). Note the change of focus from the original idea (correlation between chocolate consumption and cardiovascular health) due to the lack of research data available.
Paragraph 3 Chocolate best viewed as a food or a drug? Indulgence or addiction & are the boundaries unclear? Chocolate contains some biologically active ingredients, but in small amounts (Bruinsma & Taren, 1999). &Chocolate addicts& & negative correlation: chocolate consumption and mood (Macdiramid & Hetherington, 1995) but chocolate cravings sensory rather than addictive (Bruinsma & Taren,1999). Medication elements of chocolate? Used in relation to magnesium deficiency in women (Pennington, 2000 in Steinberg et al., 2003). Findings concur with Abraham and Lubran (1981) who found a correlation between magnesium deficiency and nervous tension in women.Note the narrow focus of medical benefits (i.e. only considering magnesium) due to the short length of the essay.
Paragraph 4 The correlation between chocolate and obesity. No specific correlation found in literature (Beckett, 2008; Lambert, 2009). Note the findings show that there is no clear relationship between chocolate and obesity & an issue flagged in the introduction. Typified by Mellor&s (2013) findings & adults showed no weight increase after chocolate controlled diet. Lambert (2009) exemplified that chocolate consumption alone unlikely to precipitate obesity.
&Chocoholic& more likely to consume other sweet foods and less likely to exercise as much as others. Chocolate consumption thus marginal in causes of obesity.
Conclusion Summary of four arguments presented Chocolate is not a healthy food, but it is enjoyable nevertheless.
It might seem strange to think about writing your conclusion before you write the body of your essay, but unless you know where you are going you can easily lose direction. Also, the conclusion is the last thing the reader actually reads, so it needs to be memorable.
There are a number of questions you should ask yourself, such as:
How will everything finish?
What are you aiming for?
What final impression do you want your readers to have?
Your conclusion ties your essay together. It should normally:
Begin with a link to the preceding paragraph.
Restate your thesis and summarise your principal points.
End with a broad statement relating to the significance of your argument.
So, our chocolate essay conclusion should mirror this pattern.
The conclusion should not just repeat the ideas from the introduction. The introduction includes the background to the essay, the important issues and a thesis statement. The introduction leads your reader into the essay. The conclusion reminds your reader of the main points made in your essay and leaves your reader with a final impression and ideas to think about later.
Chocolate essay conclusion
The following conclusion has three parts.
(A) The first sentence links the conclusion to the discussion in the previous paragraph.
(B) The following sentences restate the main points and reaffirm the thesis. (C) The last sentence is a broad statement relating to the significance of the argument.
(A) Obesity and chocolate consumption seemingly have no proven correlations. (B) Yet, in this essay, many chocolate focused arguments have been presented, including the transient effect of chocolate on mood and evidence that it is as likely to create feelings of guilt as of well-being.& Another possible positive dimension to chocolate is a correlation with cardiovascular health. Yet the potential benefits of flavanols in chocolate are currently offset by the high fat/carbohydrate content of most forms of chocolate. Whether chocolate is a food or a drug is also unclear. The literature outlines the chemical properties of chocolate which could help explain some addictive type behaviour, particularly in regards to nervous tension in women, but also there is a strong research focus on chocolate as a sensory-based indulgence. (C) It can therefore be said that chocolate is not a healthy food, but can be enjoyed as part of a healthy and balanced diet and lifestyle.
At the heart of your essay lie your body paragraphs. Typically, a body paragraph will follow the format below.
The topic sentence can function as a sentence of transition from the previous paragraph.
The Topic Sentence should unambiguously express the topic of the& paragraph and be linked with the overall thesis of the essay.
Elaboration of the main point should add more detailed information in relation to the topic sentence.
Examples and Evidence should support your main point using paraphrases, summaries or direct quotations, all of which need to be appropriately referenced.
The Concluding Sentence should echo the main point of the paragraph and function as a bridge to the next paragraph.
N.B. Paragraphs should be balanced & keep to the &no less than 3 sentences per paragraph& rule.
Remember to link all the points in your paragraph to the idea in the topic sentence. One way to check if you have done this is to write keywords in the margin for each sentence. If your keywords are related to the topic sentence, your paragraph is good. If there are ideas that are not related, you should remove them.
In the following example, the unrelated ideas are highlighted in red:
These unrelated ideas can be removed to make a more coherent paragraph:
It has been claimed that chocolate is a healthy food, but in fact it contains a lot of sugar, which can be unhealthy. For example, sugar can cause tooth decay, which can lead to dental problems in later life. Too much sugar can also lead to obesity, which is a serious health risk. In addition, sugar contains a high amount of fructose, which is bad for the liver. The amount of sugar contained in chocolate means, therefore, that chocolate, particularly milk and white chocolate, may not be healthy.
You can then add examples and references to make your paragraph stronger.
Here is an example:
Once you have drafted your main body paragraphs and your conclusion, it is time to draft your introduction.
Writing your introduction last means you are more likely to have a tighter fit between the introduction, main body and conclusion because you already know what your essay will be about.
Let us have another look at the functions of an introduction:
The thesis and scope are sometimes combined to form one or more sentences known as a thesis statement. The thesis statement often comes at the end of the introduction, although it can be written earlier.
Sometimes an essay will begin with a direct quote to draw readers into the essay.
Sometimes, particularly in very short essays, the essay will begin with an issue rather than a background statement.
Essays also sometimes begin with an issue, outline the scope and then move on to end the introduction with the thesis statement.
It is important to remember that there is not a fixed ordering for the introduction, though the BITS/BIST patterning is a very common one, which is why it is modelled for you as an example.
Example introduction
&Chocolate is a healthy food&. Discuss.
When you are writing an essay you will need to include references to external academic sources.
Why do you need to reference?
To show respect for other people's ideas and work
To clearly identify information coming from another source
To distinguish an external source from your interpretation or your own findings
To support your own arguments, thus giving you more credibility
To show evidence of wide (and understood) reading
To avoid being accused of plagiarism, which includes copying another&s work, paraphrasing or summarising without acknowledgement, colluding with others and presenting either identical or very similar essays
What does referencing include?
A. In-text citations, which can take three forms:
Paraphrasing, where you keep the original author&s ideas intact, but just change the wording
Summarising, where you summarise the whole of the author&s work, rather than one particular aspect
Direct quoting, where you take a word-for-word copy of a short extract from the original author&s work, and include it in your essay, making use of quotation marks and page number
All of these need a reference in the text.
B. A reference list at the end of your essay, which includes details such as:
Date of publication
Publisher and place of publication (for books)
Journal name, volume and issue (for journals)
Internet address or doi (digital object identifier) for electronic sources
Referencing is integral to academic essay writing and shouldn&t be viewed as an &add-on&. When you are referencing, always use a referencing guide to help you ensure 100% accuracy.
Normally, when writing an essay at university you will be expected to use only academic sources. The following learning guide on
will help you to determine whether an external source is academic or not.
The chocolate essay uses the APA style of referencing, which is easy to distinguish from the Harvard Author-Date System, as the format is different:
&cocoa and chocolate products at levels where they are biologically active (Ariefdjohan & Savaiano 2005)
&cocoa and chocolate products at levels where they are biologically active (Ariefdjohan & Savaiano, 2005)
No comma between names and year
Comma between names and year
When you are writing an essay and including external sources, more often than not you want the reader to focus on what is said rather than who is saying it. In that case the information comes before the author. For example:
Such citations are called information-centred citations.
When the focus is more on who is saying it then the citation is written like this:
Such citations are called author-centred citations.
Try and achieve a balance between both types of in text-references in your essay writing.
Reference list
In the APA style of referencing, the reference list has certain conventions that you must also follow. Here are some examples from the chocolate essay:
Don&t make referencing something you do just as an editing or proofreading activity. Include your in-text citations and reference list as part of your first draft.
An excellent website to help with your APA referencing is the
tool at Massey University.
Leave yourself enough time to look at your essay more than once. For a 1000 word essay you need at least three days to redraft your essay.
Always save each draf then you can see how your essay develops and improves.
Here are the sorts of questions you should ask yourself:
You can also look at other checklists such as this one on .
Let&s see how the writer of the chocolate essay redrafted their original introduction:
Now compare the above with the final draft:
Since Spanish explorers brought back chocolate from the new world, chocolate consumption has become a worldwide phenomenon. &At first, chocolate, a derivative of the cacao bean, was consumed as a drink, only later achieving mass popularity in tablet or bar form. However, chocolate&s inherent popularity does not equate to it possessing healthy properties, as suggested by the title. The realities of chocolate ar a number of these realities will be addressed in this essay. Chocolate has chemical properties that can influence mood and there is possible evidence for some positive impacts of chocolate on cardiovascular health. Yet, such positive attributes are counterbalanced somewhat by the argument that, in some instances, chocolate can be viewed as a drug rather than a food. Moreover, there is the possibility of some correlation between over-consumption of chocolate and obesity. Thus, it will be argued that despite chocolate&s positive effect in some cases on mood and the cardiovascular system it has also been linked to addiction and obesity.
Take your time and be careful when redrafting&it will be worth it!
How do you write in an academic way?
Your lecturers will want to hear your &voice& as they read your essay.
Imagine your essay as a kind of story. You are the principal storyteller, the internal voice of the writer, leading the reader through to your conclusion.
During the story, there are different voices that appear from time to time. These are the external voices (citations) that add substance to your story, providing detail and support for what you are saying and sometimes even giving an alternative perspective. The external voices can be divided into two categories in your essay: the direct external voice of an author (through a direct quote) and the indirect external voice of an author (through a paraphrase).
The reader needs to know at all times whose voice they are hearing. Is it your internal voice or the external voice of other authors?
You might wonder how you can include your own voice and still sound academic when you are writing about a subject area in which you have little (or no) knowledge. Including your voice does not mean that you should say &I think& or &in my opinion&.
Here are some examples of the critical/analytical language that you can use as your own internal voice when you present other people&s ideas:
Phrase &&&
How your voice is included
It has been argued (Smith & Jones, 2010) that&
Pointing out what has been said by an external source
As Smith and Jones (2010) note&
Showing your agreement with the external source
However, Smith and Jones (2010) fail to address&
Showing that you recognise the limitations of the source
Seemingly, Smith and Jones (2010) have&&&&
Showing you have tentative support for the external source
On the other hand, Smith and Jones (2010) argue that&
Showing that there is a contrast with a previous argument you have included
Smith and Jones (2010) assert that&
Showing that the position of the external source is strong but you are likely to have doubts about it
It has been suggested that& (Smith & Jones, 2010; Brown & Culbertson, 2005; Lloyd & Giggs, 2004)
Showing that you recognise a number of authors have reached a similar conclusion, and you might/might not agree with it
One advantage of the work of Smith and Jones (2010)&&
Showing that you are positively engaging with an external source
Let&s look at one of the paragraphs from the chocolate essay to see how the text is an interplay of the internal voice of the writer and the external voices of other authors. The internal voice of the writer is colour- the indirect external voices of other authors (i.e. paraphrases) and the direct external voices of other authors (i.e.& quotations) are coded in blue.
This is a balanced paragraph. The writer sets the scene at the beginning of the topic sentence and also links together all of the sentences, using their own voice to lead into content which is provided by the external voices.
Look at the same paragraph re-written, with the amount of the writer&s voice substantially reduced:
Here the writer is not &in charge& of the paragraph, and it reads a little like a list. That is something your lecturers do not want to see.
When you are drafting your paragraphs, use a colour-coding system like the one used here. It will help you ensure your academic voice is clear!
When you get more confident in using external sources, you will gradually expand the language of your critical internal voice. The
website at Manchester University provides examples of some more expressions to use when assessing external sources.
Editing focuses on the big picture elements such as overall structure, appropriate paragraphing and whether the question has been answered.
Proofreading has a micro-focus on the details of your essay, such as formatting, grammar and punctuation.
Everybody has their own personal style of editing and proofreading. You need to focus on the types of errors you commonly make by looking at the marker&s comments on your previous work.
Some pe some get other people involved. Having others involved is a really good idea.
Fresh eyes can help you find things you might not otherwise have seen.
Here are some things to consider when proofreading and editing:
website has even more detail on the proofreading process.
Students regularly underestimate the time it takes to write an essay, in particular the planning and researching stages.
Before you begin your essay, have a look at the Massey University .
You might be surprised how long the whole process takes!
As you can see from the assignment planning calculator, if you only start your essay a few days before the due date, you will have to do things too quickly.
If you think of the essay/cake analogy, you need time to mix all the ingredients properly, or the end result will not be what you want to share with others!
To write a 1000 word essay, ideally you should allow yourself about 3 weeks.
Let&s have a look at how an essay time management &cake& could be divided into slices:
You can see that the biggest part of your time is spent on the planning/research elements and redrafting/editing/proofreading elements, which together should comprise around 60% of your time.
Have a look at another model to see what you also need to consider:
Here is the final version of the chocolate essay. You can also download it as a .
&Chocolate is a healthy food.& Discuss.
Since Spanish explorers brought back chocolate from the new world, chocolate consumption has become a worldwide phenomenon. At first, chocolate, a derivative of the cacao bean, was consumed as a drink, only later achieving mass popularity in tablet or bar form. However, chocolate&s inherent popularity does not equate to it possessing healthy properties, as suggested by the title. The realities of chocolate ar a number of these realities will be addressed in this essay. Chocolate has chemical properties that can influence mood and there is possible evidence for some positive impacts of chocolate on cardiovascular health. Yet, such positive attributes are counterbalanced somewhat by the argument that, in some instances, chocolate can be viewed as a drug rather than a food. Moreover, there is the possibility of some correlation between over-consumption of chocolate and obesity. Thus, it will be argued that despite chocolate&s positive effect in some cases on mood and the cardiovascular system it has also been linked to addiction and obesity.
Consumption of chocolate is something that many enjoy, and there is evidence (Parker, Parker, & Brotchie, 2006) that high carbohydrate foods such as chocolate do have a &feel good& effect. Moreover, Scholey and Owen (2013) in a systematic review of the literature in the field point to several studies, such as Macht and Dettmer (2006) and Macht and Mueller (2007), which appear to confirm this effect. Yet, as Parker, Parker and Brotchie (2006, p. 150) note, the mood effects of chocolate &are as ephemeral as holding a chocolate in one&s mouth&. In addition, mood is something that is difficult to isolate and quantify, and aside from the study by Macht and Dettmer (2006) there appears to be little research on any longer term mood affecting influences of chocolate. Another point is raised by Macht and Dettmer (2006), whose study found that positive responses to chocolate correlated more with anticipation and temporary sensory pleasure, whereas guilt was also a statistically significant factor for many, for whom the &feel-good& effect would be minimalised. As these authors stress, &temporal tracking of [both] positive and negative emotions& (p.335) before and after consuming chocolate in future studies could help in further understanding the &feel good& effect and more negative emotions.
Another possible positive influence of chocolate is upon cardiovascular health. Chocolate, processed accordingly, can be a provider of significant quantities of heart-friendly flavanols (Hannum, Schmitz, & Keen, 2002) which help in delaying blood clotting and reducing inflammation (Schramm et al., 2001). Such attributes of flavanols in chocolate need to be considered in the context of chocolate&s other components & approximately 30% fat, 61% carbohydrate, 6% protein and 3% liquid and minerals (Hannum, Schmitz, & Keen, 2002). The key to maximising the benefits of flavanols in chocolate appears to lie in the level of fats present. Cocoa, which is simply chocolate minus the fat, is the most obvious candidate for maximising heart health, but as Hannum, Schmitz and Keen (2002) note, most cocoa products are made through an alkali process which destroys many flavanols. Optimal maximisation of the flavanols involves such compounds being present in cocoa and chocolate products at levels where they are biologically active (Ariefdjohan & Savaiano, 2005).
The biological makeup of chocolate is also relevant in determining whether chocolate is better viewed as a food or a drug, but the boundaries between indulgence and addictive behaviour are unclear. Chocolate contains some biologically active elements including methylxanthines, and cannabinoid-like unsaturated fatty acids (Bruinsma & Taren, 1999) which could represent a neurochemical dependency potential for chocolate, yet are present in exceedingly small amounts.& Interestingly, and linked to chocolate and mood, Macdiarmid and Hetherington (1995) claim their study found that &self-identified chocolate &addicts&& reported& a negative correlation between chocolate consumption and mood. This is perhaps indicative of addictive or compulsive type behaviour. However, as Bruinsma and Taren (1999) note, eating chocolate can represent a sensory reward based, luxurious indulgence, based around texture, aroma and flavour anticipation, rather than a neurochemically induced craving. Yet, it has been argued that chocolate is sometimes used as a form of self-medication, particularly in relation to magnesium deficiency. A study by Pennington (2000 in Steinberg, Bearden, & Keen 2003) noted that women do not generally meet US guidelines for trace elements, including magnesium. This correlates with earlier studies by Abraham and Lubran (1981), who found a high correlation between magnesium deficiency and nervous tension in women. Thus, tension-related chocolate cravings could be a biological entity fuelled by magnesium deficiency. Overall, however, it would appear that the proportion of people using chocolate as a drug rather than a food based sensory indulgence is small, though further research might prove enlightening.
A final point to consider in relation to chocolate is the perception that chocolate is linked to obesity. A person is defined as being obese when their Body Mass Index is greater than 30. The literature on chocolate and obesity has clearly demonstrated that there are no specific correlations between the two variables (Beckett, 2008; Lambert, 2009). This is typified by the findings of Mellor (2013), who found that, over a period of eight weeks of eating 45 grams of chocolate per day, a group of adults demonstrated no significant weight increase. As Lambert (2009) notes, chocolate consumption alone is not likely to cause obesity, unless large amounts of other calorie dense foods are consumed and this calorie dense intake is greater than needed for bodily function, bearing in mind levels of activity. The stereotypical &chocoholic& seems more likely to consume many other sweet foods and be less likely to take exercise than other people, so chocolate consumption is only one possible variable when considering the causes of obesity.
Obesity and chocolate consumption seemingly have no proven correlations. Yet, in this essay, many chocolate focused arguments have been presented, including the transient effect of chocolate on mood and the fact that it is as likely to create feelings of guilt as of well-being. Another possible positive dimension to chocolate is a correlation with cardiovascular health. Yet the potential benefits of flavanols in chocolate are currently offset by the high fat/carbohydrate content of most forms of chocolate. Whether chocolate is a food or a drug is also unclear. The literature outlines the chemical properties of chocolate which could help explain some addictive type behaviour, particularly in regards to nervous tension in women, but there is also a strong research focus on chocolate as a sensory-based indulgence. It can therefore be said that chocolate is not a healthy food, but can be enjoyed as part of a healthy and balanced diet and lifestyle.
(Word count: 1087. This is within 10% of the word limit, which is usually acceptable. Check this with your lecturer if you are in any doubt.)
References
Abraham, G. E., & Lubran, M. M. (1981). Serum and red cell magnesium levels in patients with premenstrual tension. The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 34(11), . Retrieved from http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/34/11/2364.short
Ariefdjohan, M. W., & Savaiano, D. A. (2005). Chocolate and cardiovascular health: Is it too good to be true? Nutrition Reviews, 63(12), 427-430. doi: 10.1111/j.05.tb00118.x
Beckett, S. T. (2000). The science of chocolate. Cambridge, UK: Royal Society of Chemistry.
Bruinsma, K., & Taren, D. L. (1999). Chocolate: Food or drug? Journal of the American Dietetic Association, 99(10), 1249-12. doi: 10.-07-7
Hannum, S. M., Schmitz, H. H., & Keen, C. L. (2002). Chocolate: A heart-healthy food? Show me the science! Nutrition Today, 37(3), 103-109. Retrieved from /nutritiontodayonline/Abstract//Chocolate__A_Heart_healthy_Food__Show_Me_the.4.aspx
Lambert, J. P. (2009). Nutrition and health aspects of chocolate. In S. Beckett (Ed.), Industrial chocolate manufacture and use, (4th ed., pp. 623-635). London: Wiley Blackwell. Retrieved from& /doi/10.301588.ch27/pdf
Macht, M., & Dettmer, D. (2006). Everyday mood and emotions after eating a chocolate bar or an apple. Appetite, 46(3), 332-336. doi: 10.1016/j.appet.
Macht, M., & Mueller, J. (2007). Immediate effects of chocolate on experimentally induced mood states. Appetite, 49(3), 667-674. doi:10.1016/j.appet.
Macdiarmid, J. I., & Hetherington, M. M. (1995). Mood modulation by food: An exploration of affect and cravings in &chocolate addicts&. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 34(1), 129-138. doi: 10.1111/j.95.tb01445.x
Mellor, D. D. (2013). The effects of polyphenol rich chocolate on cardiovascular risk and glycaemic control in type 2 diabetes mellitus (Doctoral dissertation, University of Hull, UK). Retrieved from https://hydra.hull.ac.uk/resources/hull:7109
Parker, G., Parker, I., & Brotchie, H. (2006). Mood state effects of chocolate. Journal of Affective Disorders, 92(2), 149-159. doi: 10.1016/j.jad.
Scholey, A., & Owen, L. (2013). Effects of chocolate on cognitive function and mood: a systematic review. Nutrition reviews, 71(10), 665-681. doi:10.1111/nure.12065
Schramm, D. D., Wang, J. F., Holt, R. R., Ensunsa, J. L., Gonsalves, J. L., Lazarus, S. A., Schmitz, H. H., German, J. Bruce, & Keen, C. L. (2001). Chocolate procyanidins decrease the leukotriene-prostacyclin ratio in humans and human aortic endothelial cells. The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 73(1), 36-40. Retrieved from http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/73/1/36.full
Steinberg, F. M., Bearden, M. M., & Keen, C. L. (2003). Cocoa and chocolate flavonoids: Implications for cardiovascular health. Journal of the American Dietetic Association, 103(2), 215-223. doi: 10.1053/jada.
&Integrity& relates to &honesty&, and academic integrity involves writing in an honest way, so that no one will think you are claiming that words or ideas from someone else are your own. This is very important in academic writing in western countries, and if you do not do this you might be accused of plagiarism, which is a serious offence at university.
Plagiarism means using someone else&s words, ideas or diagrams without acknowledgement.
Of course, when we write an essay we need to refer to other people&s ideas. We gave some of the reasons for this before:
To show respect for other people's ideas and work
To clearly identify information coming from another source
To distinguish an external source from your interpretation or your own findings
To support your own arguments, thus giving you more credibility
To show evidence of wide (and understood) reading
Being a good writer involves using other people&s ideas to support your work. However, you should never forget to say where these ideas come from, even if you don&t quote the person&s exact words.
Include a reference in the text, where the words or ideas appear, and in a reference list at the end of the essay.
All the references in the text must appear in the reference list, and all the references in the list must also appear in the text.
There is a short
here and a wonderful
here (click on &captions& to get subtitles in English).
Another word connected to academic integrity is collusion.
Collusion means that you work with someone else and submit the same or very similar assignments without your lecturer&s permission.
For example, if you and a friend work together on an essay and then submit identical or very similar versions of the essay, one under your name and one under your friend&s name, that is collusion. However, if you are doing a group work assignment and your lecturer has asked you to work together and submit the assignment jointly, that is not collusion. Collusion, like plagiarism, has an element of dishonesty in it. People who collude do so secretly, as they know that the lecturer would not be happy.
People make genuine mistakes, so lecturers are usually very happy to advise you if you ask them.
The University of AdelaideSouth Australia 5005Australia
North Terrace Campus
The University of Adelaide
SA 5005 AUSTRALIA}