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你可能喜欢Script - transcript from the screenplay and/or Kevin Smith movie
Script - Dialogue Transcript
Voila! Finally, the Clerks
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie by Kevin Smith.& This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Clerks. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Swing on back to
afterwards for more !
[ Telephone Ringing ]
[ Ringing Continues ]
No, l don't work today.
I'm playing hockey at
Why don't you call Randal ?
'Cause I'm fuckin' tired !
I just closed last night.
What time do you think
you're gonna come in,
Be there by
Swear you'll be there by
and I'll do it.
or l walk.
[ Slurping ]
it's a meaningless end
to the story
Got no time
for the forgotten glory
And now just
when l know what I'm after
it just brings me to laughter
Just save up
all your nickels and dimes
- [ Engine Starts ]
Let's see what you find
and you know
- [ Tires Screeching ]
I guess I'm livin' day to day
Just in case you feel
led astray, hell, yeah
I guess I'm livin' day to day
Hear what l say, yeah
Just save up
all your nickels and dimes
Let's see what you find
and you know
I'd just die for a piece
of that pie but
I'll be glad to just feast
on that pie crust
And now just
when l know what I'm after
it just brings me to laughter
Just save up
all your nickels and dimes
Let's see what you find
and you know
I guess I'm livin' day to day
Just so glad to be led astray
Hell, yeah
I guess I'm livin' day to day
Hear what l say
it's a meaningless end
to the story
Got no time
for the forgotten glory
And now just
when l know what I'm after
it just brings me to laughter
Just save up
all your nickels and dimes
Let's see what you find
and you know
I guess I'm livin' day to day
Just hopin' to be led astray
Hell, yeah
I guess I'm livin' day to day
Hear what l say
- Thanks. Have a good one.
- Do you mind if l drink this here ?
- Sure. Go ahead.
- You open ?
- Pack of cigarettes.
- Are you sure ?
- Am l sure about what ?
- Are you sure ?
- About what ?
- Do you really wanna buy
those cigarettes ?
- Are you serious ?
- How long you been smoking ?
- What is this, a poll ?
- How long you been a smoker ?
I don't know.
Since l was about
Let's see, you're about
- Am l right ?
- What in the hell is that ?
That's your lung.
By this time, your lung looks like this.
- You've gotta be shitting me.
- You think I'm shitting you ?
- What's this ?
A trach ring.
It's what they install in your throat
when cancer takes your voice box.
-This one came out of a
-year-old man.
-Oh, God !
He smoked until the day he died.
- Used to put the cigarette
in this and smoke that way.
- Excuse me, but--
This is where you're heading.
Cruddy lung,
smoking through a hole in your throat.
- Do you really want that ?
- lf it's already too late, l guess--
No, it's never too late.
Put the cigarettes back,
and try some gum instead.
- Here. Chewlies gum. Try this.
- it's not the same.
It's cheaper than cigarettes,
and it certainly beats this.
-Oh, Jesus !
-it's a picture of a cancer-ridden lung.
- I'll just take the gum.
- Fifty-five.
You made a very wise choice.
Keep up the good work.
If you're gonna drink that coffee,
I think you oughta take it outside, huh?
I think I'll drink it in here.
If you're gonna drink it in here,
I'd appreciate it
if you don't bother the customers.
I'm sorry about that.
- Pack of cigarettes. What's that ?
How long you been smoking ?
Kill the drummer
Kill the bass player
Kill both bass players
This song is the reason
why I'm now going deaf
Let's kick some ass ! Yeah !
I feel good today, Silent Bob.
We're gonna make some money.
And you know what we're gonna do ?
We're gonna go to that party
and get some pussy.
I'm gonna fuck this bitch,
I'm gonna fuck this bitch.
I'll fuck anything that moves !
What the fuck you lookin' at ?
I'll kick your fuckin' ass !
Shit, yeah. Don't that motherfucker
owe me ten bucks ?
You know, tonight we're going
to rip off this fucker's head,
take out his fuckin' soul.
if he wants to buy something.
I'm gonna shit
in the motherfucker's bag.
- [ Girl Laughing ]
- What's up, baby ? What's up, sluts ?
Yeah. So, Bob, you're a rude
motherfucker, you know that ?
You're cute as hell.
I could go down on you, suck you,
Line up three other guys,
make like a circus seal.
Hey, what're you, a fucking faggot ?
I hate guys.
I love women !
What you want, Grizzly Adams ?
You're spending what,
dollars a week on your cigarettes ?
- Fifty-three.
Fifty-three dollars a week
on cigarettes ! Come on !
Would you give somebody
that much money each week to kill you ?
That's what you're doing now by paying
for this so-called privilege to smoke !
We're gonna croak sometime.
It's that mentality that allows
the cancer-producing industry to thrive.
Of course we're all gonna die someday !
Do we have to pay for it ?
Do we have to actually throw hard-earned
dollars down on the counter...
and say, ""Please,
Mr. Merchant of Death, sir, please,
""sell me something that will
stink up my breath and clothes,
- and fry my lungs !""
- [ Dante ] Now, wait a second.
Here comes the speech about how he's
just doing his job by following orders.
Let me tell you
about another group of hate-mongers
that were just following orders.
- Who's that ?
- They were called Nazis !
- Yeah, that's right.
- Friggin' Nazi.
They practically wiped
an entire nation off the Earth,
Like your cigarettes are doing now !
- [ Dante ] l think you'd oughta leave.
- You want me to leave. Why ?
'Cause somebody's telling it like it is,
giving these fine people a wake-up call?
- No, you're loitering
and causing a disturbance.
I'm a disturbance ?
You're the disturbance, pal.
Here, now l am a customer.
I'm gonna buy some Chewlies gum.
I'm a customer engaged in a discussion
with the other customers.
- That's right.
- Smoke my big fat cock !
He's scared now
'cause he sees the threat we present.
He smells the change is coming !
You definitely are the source
in this area, and we're gonna
shut you down for good !
For good, cancer merchant !
[ Chanting ]
Cancer merchant ! Cancer merchant !
Who's leading this mob ?
[ Coughing ]
- [ Coughing Continues ]
- [ Woman ] Freeze !
Let's see some credentials.
- You're a Chewlies gum representative ?
- [ Man ] Chewlies ?
You're stirring up anti-smoking
sentiment to, what, sell more gum ?
Get out of here !
And you people-- Don't you have jobs
to go to ? Get out of here. Go commute.
You oughta be ashamed of yourselves.
A bunch of easily led automatons.
Try thinking for yourselves before you
pelt an innocent man with cigarettes !
[ Coughing, Clears Throat ]
Uh, pack of cigarettes ?
Don't you think you're taking
this a bit too hard ?
I have enough indignities in my life and
people start throwing cigarettes at me.
- At least they weren't lit.
- Oh, l hate this fucking place.
Then quit.
You should be going to school anyway.
Please, Veronica, at this point,
the last thing l need is a lecture.
All I'm saying is, if you're
that unhappy, you should leave.
-I'm not even supposed to be here today!
I stopped by your house. Your mom told
me you left, like, at
or something.
The guy got sick.
He couldn't come in.
- Don't you have a hockey game at
And I'm gonna play like shit because
I didn't have a good night's sleep.
- Why'd you agree to come in then ?
- Hey, I'm only here until
After that, I'm gone.
The boss comes in.
- Why don't you open the shutters?
Get some sunlight in here.
- Someone jammed gum in the locks.
- You're kidding.
- Bunch of savages in this town.
- How much money did you leave up there?
Like, three dollars in mixed change
and a couple of singles.
This time in the morning,
people just get a paper or coffee.
- You're trusting.
- Why do you say that ?
How do you know they're taking
the right amount of change
or even paying for what they take ?
Theoretically, people see money
on the counter, no one around,
they think they're being watched.
Honesty through paranoia.
Why do you smell like shoe polish ?
I needed shoe polish
to make that sign out there.
- Smell won't come off.
- [ Door Opens ]
You think anybody
can see us down here ?
Why, you wanna have sex or something ?
- Can we ?
- Really ?
- l was kidding.
- Like you can't get enough of me.
- Typically male point of view.
- How do you figure ?
Show some bedroom proficiency,
you think you're gods.
What about what we do for you ?
Women as lovers ar
they just have to be there.
- Be there ?
- Making a male climax
isn't at all challenging.
Insert somewhere close,
preferably moist, thrust, repeat.
How flattering.
Now, making a woman come,
therein lies a challenge.
You think so ?
A woman makes a guy come,
it's standard.
A guy makes a woman come,
it's talent.
- And l actually date you ?
- Something wrong ?
I'm insulted. Believe me, Don Juan, it
takes more than that to get a guy off.
Just being there, as you put it,
is not enough.
Hmm, I've touched a nerve.
I'm astonished to hear you
you trivialize my role in our sex life.
It wasn't directed at you.
I was making a broad generalization.
You're making a generalization
about broads.
Those are my opinions
based on the few women...
who were goodly enough
to sleep with me.
- How many ?
- How many what ?
How many different girls
have you slept with ?
- Didn't we have
this discussion once before ?
- We might have.
- l don't remember. How many ?
- including you ?
It better be up to and including me.
- You slept with
different girls ?
Including you ? Yes.
- Ow ! What'd you do that for ?
- You're a pig !
- Why'd you hit me ?
- Do you know how many different men
I've had sex with ?
Do l get to hit you after you tell me ?
- Three, including you.
- You only slept
with three different people ?
- I'm not the pig you are.
- No, who are the three, besides me.
- John Francin and Rob Stanslik.
That's why you should feel like a pig.
You men make me feel sick.
- You'll sleep with anything
that says yes.
- Animal, mineral or vegetable.
Vegetable, meaning paraplegic.
They put up
the least amount of struggle.
After dropping a bombshell like that,
you owe me big.
I want you to come with me on Monday.
- To school.
There's a seminar about getting
back into a scholastic program...
after a lapse in enrollment.
Can't we ever have a discussion
without that coming up ?
It's important to me, Dante.
You have so much potential
that's going to waste in this pit.
- l wish you'd go back to school.
- Stop. You're making my head hurt.
-Shit ! Why're you getting up ?
-Unlike you, l have class in
Hey, Ronni.
How you been, man ?
What, do you work here now ?
No, l was visiting my man.
Dante, this is Willam Black.
This is Dante Hicks, my boyfriend.
- How you doing ? Just the soda ?
- No, and a pack of cigarettes.
So where you been, man ?
Still going to Seton Hall ?
No, l transferred into Monmouth
this year. l was tired of missing him.
That's beautiful, man.
So, you still talk to Silvan ?
I just talked to her on Monday.
We still hang out on weekends.
Oh, that's great.
Well, you two lovebirds
take it easy, okay ?
Bye. Take it easy.
- [ Ronni ] That was Snowball.
- Why do you call him that ?
Silvan made it up.
It's a blow job thing.
What do you mean ?
After the blow job, he likes to have it
spit back into his mouth while kissing.
It's called snowballing.
- He requests this ?
- He gets off on it.
- Silvan can be talked into anything.
- Why do you say that ?
Like you said, she snowballed him.
- Silvan ? No, l snowballed him.
- Yeah, right.
I'm serious.
- You sucked that guy's dick ?
- Yeah. How do you think l knew--
You said you only had sex
with three different guys !
You never mentioned him !
- Because l never had sex with him.
- You sucked his dick !
We went out a few times.
We never had sex, but we fooled around.
Oh, my God. Why did you tell me
you only had sex with three guys ?
Because l did
only have sex with three guys.
- it doesn't mean
I didn't just go with people.
- Oh, my God, l feel so nauseous !
I'm sorry, Dante.
I thought you understood.
I did understand !
I understood that you had sex with
three guys and that's all you said !
- Please calm down.
- How many ?
- Dante, let it go !
- How many dicks have you sucked ?
Shut up a second and I'll tell you.
I didn't freak out like this when
you told me how many girls you fucked !
This is different. This is important.
How many ?
- Something like
- What ? Something like
- Lower your voice.
- What is that-- ""Something like
Does that include me ?
- I'm going to class.
- Oh, my God.
! My girlfriend sucked
- in a row ?
- Where you going ?
- Hey, listen, jerk.
Until today, you never even knew...
how many guys l slept with
because you never even bothered to ask.
Then you act all nonchalant
about fucking
I never had sex with
- No, but you sucked enough dick !
- Yeah, l went down on a few guys.
- One of those guys was you.
The last one, l might add.
Which, if you're too stupid
to comprehend, means that
I've been faithful to you since we met.
All the other guys
I went with before l met you.
If you want to have a complex, go ahead.
But don't look at me like
I'm the town whore, because you
were plenty busy before you met me.
Why did you suck their dick ?
Why couldn't you sleep with them
Like any other decent person ?
Because going down isn't a big deal.
I used to like a guy, we'd make out,
and sooner or later I'd go down on him.
- But l only had sex
with the guys l loved.
- l feel sick.
I love you !
Don't feel sick.
Every time l kiss you,
I'm gonna taste
other guys.
- I'm going to school. Maybe later
you'll be a bit more rational.
! l just can't--
Good-bye, Dante !
Hey, try not to suck any dick
on the way through the parking lot !
Hey ! Hey, you !
Get back here.
I thought that place was supposed
to be open at
I've already called his house twice.
He'll be here soon.
Hey, it's not like
it's a demanding job over there.
I'd like to get paid
to sit on my ass and watch TV.
I walked in the other day,
that son of a bitch was sleeping.
- I'm sure he wasn't sleeping.
- Are you calling me a liar ?
- Are you calling me a liar ?
- No ! He was probably
just resting his eyes.
What the hell is that,
""resting his eyes"" ?
- Like he's some air traffic controller?
- Actually, that's his night job.
Wise ass too, huh ?
Go ahead. Keep cracking wise.
That's why you're jockeying a register
in some fuckin' convenience store...
instead of working at a steady job.
I've got no time to bullshit around,
waiting for that son of a bitch.
Make sure he gets that.
The number's
. My name's Wynarski.
I wanted a movie tonight.
If you tell me the title of the movie,
he'll hold it for you.
Don't hurt yourself, buddy.
I'll go to Big Choice Video instead.
[ Door Opens, Closes ]
You forgot your keys.
- Guy ain't here yet.
- You're kidding ! it's almost
- I've been here since
- l hate it when l can't rent videos !
I would've went to Big Choice, but the
tape l want is right there on that wall.
- Which one ?
- Dental School.
You came for that too ?
That's the movie l came for.
- l have first dibs.
- Says who ?
Says me. I've been here half an hour.
I'd call that first dibs.
- Ain't gonna happen, my friend.
I'm getting that movie.
- Like hell you are.
I'll bet you
you don't get to rent that tape.
- Twenty bucks ?
- Twenty bucks.
All right, asshole. You're on.
You're late.
- What the hell are you doing here ?
- The boss called. Arthur fell ill.
- Why are the shutters closed ?
- Someone jammed gum in the locks.
- Bunch of savages in this town.
- That's what l said.
If I'd known you were here,
I'd have come even later.
- What smells like shoe polish ?
- Go open the store.
-Hey, you see a set of keys around here?
-No time for love, Dr. Jones.
Fucking kids.
Some guy just came in
refusing to pay late fees.
Said the store was closed for two hours
yesterday. l tore up his membership.
Shocking abuse of authority.
I'm a firm believer
in the philosophy of a ruling class,
especially since l rule.
- [ Randal ]
Want something to drink ? I'm buying.
- [ Dante ] No, thanks.
Who was on your phone
this morning, like,
- l was trying to call for half an hour.
I wanted to use your car.
Snack cake.
You don't wanna know.
- You call Caitlin again ?
- She called me.
- You tell Veronica ?
- One fight a day with Veronica
is all l can stomach, thanks.
- What do you fight about ?
- We don't fight about anything.
She wants me to leave here and go
back to school and get some direction.
- l bet the most frequent topic
of arguments is Caitlin Bree.
- You win.
I'm going to offer you some advice,
my friend. Let the past be the past.
Forget Caitlin Bree.
You been with Veronica how long now ?
- Seven months.
- Chick's nuts about you.
- How long you date Caitlin ?
- Five years.
Chick only made you nuts, man.
She cheated on you how many times ?
- Eight and a half.
- Eight and a half ?
Party at John Kay's,
I get blitzed, pass out in his bedroom.
-Caitlin comes in and jumps all over me.
-So that's cheating ?
In the middle of it she called me Brad.
- She called you Brad ?
That's not cheating.
People say crazy shit during sex.
- One time, l called this girl ""mom.""
- l hit the light, she freaks.
- She thought l was Brad Michelson.
- What do you mean ?
She was supposed to meet Brad in a
dark bedroom. She picked the wrong one.
- She didn't even know
I was at the party.
- Oh, my God.
- Great story, huh ?
- That girl was vile to you.
Interesting postscript to that story.
Do you know who wound up
in that bedroom with Brad ?
- Your mother ?
- Alan Harris.
- Chess team Alan Harris ?
- The two moved to Idaho together.
They raise sheep.
- That's frightening.
- Takes different strokes
to move the world.
In light of this lurid tale,
I don't see...
how you could romanticize
your relationship with Caitlin.
She broke your heart and inadvertently
drove men to deviant lifestyles.
There was a lot of good
in our relationship.
Aside from the cheating,
we were a great couple.
That's what high school was about:
algebra, bad lunch and infidelity.
- You think things
will be different this time ?
- They are.
When she calls me now,
she's a different person.
She's frightened, vulnerable.
She's finishing college
and about to enter the real world.
That's scary for anyone.
- Shit, l gotta place an order.
- Talkin' to myself here.
- I'm listening.
She's leaving college and--
- And she's looking for support.
- l think this is leading
our relationship to a new level.
- What about Veronica ?
I think the arguments Veronica and l are
having are some kind of manifestation...
of a subconscious desire
to break up with her,
so l can pursue a more meaningful
relationship with Caitlin.
- Caitlin's on the same wavelength ?
- it's safe to say yes.
- l think all four of you
better sit down and talk it over.
- All four ?
You, Veronica, Caitlin
and Caitlin's fianc}