怎么处理室友家庭矛盾处理方法

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【生活经验】和室友有矛盾怎么办~~~
室友疯狂恋爱了,从认识到确定关系不到十天半个月吧。。总是大半夜还出去约会凌晨两三点才回来,回来洗澡上厕所啥的声音还好大,昨天她冲洗手间的声音真是太大了(因为宿舍那个脚踏冲水的东西水压好大,一般那样我们都可以用桶接水冲的),我本来最近实验压力就比较大总是睡不好,昨晚被她吵醒之后真是气愤,就说她怎么不要桶冲,她却说住一个宿舍就该相互体谅包容什么的,还说我不该唧唧咋咋总摆脸色给她看,气死我了,我真觉得她像半夜闹鬼似地神经病~~~~
你们说遇到这样的室友要怎么办,我昨晚就睡了4个小时~~真是抓狂!
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我大学期间也碰到过类似不太顾及别人感受的室友,当时说了几句,他不仅不道歉,而且态度还不好,由于我脾气比较躁,一时气不过,吵了起来,结果就闹翻了。此后大概有一年多的时间我们虽天天生活在一起但是两人都死要面子,谁都不肯妥协,一直没有讲过话,更没有在一起玩。这种感觉你可以想象吧,很别扭,非常不好!这件事给我的压力挺大的,在此期间,我只要在宿舍总是感到或多或少的压抑,非常苦闷,甚至有点消沉,尤其是考研那段时间。开始后悔为什么与人吵架,原来吵架和与人冷战的感觉这么让人难受!临近毕业了,我觉得我该解决这个问题,不再坚持之前的想法“不是我的错,我干嘛要先道歉。否则,岂不是承认我输了”。其实,我本来就有错,要是我大度一点,退让一点或者说理智一点,委婉一点,也许压根不会吵架。我很珍惜每一个遇到的人,因为他们丰富了我的生活和影响了我的人生。同窗同室的情谊更是来之不易,试问一生能和多少人在夜晚说说悄悄话,在一起疯一起闹啊!不知上辈子我们相互回眸了几千万次才换得现在“极品”的室友!((∩_∩))再说,多一个朋友永远比多一个“敌人“(其实一般不会这么严重啦,顶多有些误会和隔阂)要聪明的多;而且,坦诚认错需要的是勇气,越推越久,需要的勇气越大(所以意识到自己做错的事尽快认错,事情总会更好解决!)。最后,我想清楚了一切之后用了E-mail的方式给他写了封邮件,期望冰释前嫌,他的回复在我预料之中,又有超出我预料的惊喜。他向我很诚恳表达了歉意,因为我肯定我们之间最主要是缺乏沟通和交流,没有任何敌意乃至仇恨。同时,他向我解释了一切并送出他真心的祝福。后来,在毕业聚会上,我们相互敬酒,相视而笑,一切尽在不言之中。我给楼主的建议是:退一步海阔天空,遇事冷静处理,一份难得的情谊不要因为小的争吵而放弃,用自己的真诚和勇气去做到问心无愧!祝你早日解决问题,天天快乐!
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室友之间发生矛盾怎么办?
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1.多些理解与包容大学时期,室友大多数都来自于天南海北。在彼此相遇之前,都说着彼此都听不懂的方言、有着差异很大生活习惯。再在加上,每个人的性格本就不同,相处时有些小小的摩擦是在所难免的。美国著...
1.多些理解与包容大学时期,室友大多数都来自于天南海北。在彼此相遇之前,都说着彼此都听不懂的方言、有着差异很大生活习惯。再在加上,每个人的性格本就不同,相处时有些小小的摩擦是在所难免的。美国著名的心理学家卡尔·皮卡哈特认为,不同人的性格和价值观都是难以改变的,室友更需要相互理解和包容。就比如,我的大学室友,他们几乎是“夜猫子”,而我又习惯早起。在这个问题上,我们达成了共识,就是在对方睡觉时,尽量保持安静。有分歧并不可怕,可怕的是不能及时的进行沟通。如果你与你的室友产生了分歧,那么一定要把你的需要和不满第一时间告诉你室友。当然,在对室友表达需要和不满时,也一定要注意说的语气和态度。就事论事,不要一味的指责个人,然后在通过彼此讨论和协调,制定出解决的方案。在与室友闹矛盾时,我们都会范:不是“听我的”就是“听你的”这样的错误,所以才会让矛盾深化。而正确的理解和包容,是室友间的相互合作,平等的妥协。不是有一句话说的好嘛:“忍一时风平浪静,退一步海阔天空。”2.闲谈莫论人非无可厚非,男生宿舍相对与女生宿舍来说,矛盾点要少很多。大部分的男生,都是大大咧咧的一种性格。或许今天刚刚与你打完架,明天便可在一个桌子兄道弟,喝起酒了。而女生大多心思细腻,会经常为一些小事情而计较。所以,在本就容易产生矛盾的地方。你的一言一行,非常的重要。3.尊重他人,也要勇敢说不如果室友之间,不能够做到相互喜欢,但是,起码的相互尊重也是要做到的。比如,不擅自吃室友的食物,不随意使用室友的物品和钱财。虽然,看似是芝麻大的小事,但却足能表现出,你对他人是否尊重。如果想得到他人的尊重,那便先从尊重他人开始。在尊重他人的同时,对自己办不到的事情,也要勇敢的说拒绝。而不是办不到还碍于面子,不去拒绝。与室友如何相处,同样也是大学生们很重要的一门必修课。当然,以上4点同样也是群居空间中的相处之道。
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我只想说,在女生寝室,发生矛盾真的很平常的一件事,几个从天南地北来的人总会有,不同的地方,几个人都是在磨合磨合再磨合的过程,或许有的磨合好了,就没有争吵了,有的磨合不好,一切都是白搭。记得这...
我只想说,在女生寝室,发生矛盾真的很平常的一件事,几个从天南地北来的人总会有,不同的地方,几个人都是在磨合磨合再磨合的过程,或许有的磨合好了,就没有争吵了,有的磨合不好,一切都是白搭。记得这一季花儿与少年里面有一期节目里面,古力娜扎和张疏影就因为很小的一件事情发生了口角,赖雨蒙让古力娜扎先去洗澡,古力娜扎让赖雨蒙先去洗澡,张疏影随口插了句,不要再推了,赶紧去洗澡吧,随后,赖雨蒙和古力娜扎就不知道发生了什么心情不好了。张疏影问娜扎怎么了,古力娜扎说张疏影不要再去命令她,干什么干什么了。随后俩人就开始了,但是,很幸好的是俩人都是比较理智的人,不一会就把这件事情给过去了。这其实就是我们在寝室的一个小的缩影啊,可能你无心的一句话或者什么动作,在别的室友看来就是在那个啥他,他就是感觉不爽,这很正常,争吵什么的只要是有理由的,也都是正常的一件事情可是呢,我们要学会寻找正确的方法去解决这个矛盾的东西,就是让他们俩个人冷静下来去思考,去寻找矛盾的点在哪里,说开了就好了嘛,我们没必要就是不知道的人在旁边瞎掺和,瞎劝导什么的,可能有时候我们,在旁边的参和可能令事情朝更坏的一个方面去发展,这个真的是要好好的把握尺寸的度。室友之间的矛盾最怕的就是扩大化,我们同在一个屋檐下生活,何必要搞这样的僵硬。
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我现在是大学生,准确一点说现在开学之后就是大三了,从初中的时候就开始上学寄宿学校,第一次住寄宿学校那时候宿舍特别大,一个宿舍要住三十二个女生,然后那时候宿舍人多吗,然后矛盾也就不那么多,因为...
&我现在是大学生,准确一点说现在开学之后就是大三了,从初中的时候就开始上学寄宿学校,第一次住寄宿学校那时候宿舍特别大,一个宿舍要住三十二个女生,然后那时候宿舍人多吗,然后矛盾也就不那么多,因为都是分帮的,然后后来慢慢上了高中,宿舍八个人,宿舍矛盾也就多了起来,幸好我是那种事不关己高高挂起的人,而且我也是那种脾气特别好,与谁都能相处过来了的人。如果说舍友之间发生矛盾应该怎么办呢,经历过这些年的住宿经验,我想说,首先第一点:如果不是你自己与别人发生矛盾,千万不要去乱打听,也不要参与,最好保持事不关己高高挂起的心态,如果你跟舍友关系好,那么适当的安慰也是可以的,还有就是面子上的劝和。第二点,想想矛盾是怎么发生的,到底该怎么办,不要去逃避问题而是要去解决问题,不要意气用事。第三点,最好是多为对方考虑一下,自己做错了什么,考虑全了,毕竟同在屋檐下,低头不见抬头见,最好化干戈为玉帛。我现在大学嘛,大学生活其实也挺乱的,关系尔虞我诈,还好我宿舍都是一群单纯善良的姑娘,但是谁都有脾气,上学期,我舍友两个原本很好,结果某天其他一个姑娘小李不理小王了,然后小王就找我们几个人哭诉,然后沉寂已久的事情被说出来,可能是压抑了好长时间了,这次一次性的说出来看得出来小王也是很轻松了,后来她们说都不理谁,毕竟下一个宿舍里面,而且宿舍里面就几个人,很尴尬,后来我们外出写生,然后我在写生的时候她们两个关系因为其中一个女生而改变她们又和好如初了,所以呀,舍友之间的关系很微妙的,是因为小李的气消了,小王也知道自己做错了,然后外出写生那段时间她们彼此道歉,然后一起翻山越岭,一起吃那难吃的早餐。&
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其实作为一个宿舍,朝夕相处的人发生矛盾是特别正常的事情,所以说发生矛盾的话,只要有一个正确的对待态度,那就不会太糟糕。在我的印象中,男生和女生宿舍发生矛盾的应对态度似乎不一样。在男生宿舍的话...
其实作为一个宿舍,朝夕相处的人发生矛盾是特别正常的事情,所以说发生矛盾的话,只要有一个正确的对待态度,那就不会太糟糕。在我的印象中,男生和女生宿舍发生矛盾的应对态度似乎不一样。在男生宿舍的话,如果宿舍之间有两个人发生矛盾的话,那么两个人可能是最开始的时候几天不说话,然后之后可能就会因为一些鸡毛蒜皮的小事情开车护相说话,然后大家都像忘了这一样,搞忘了之前所发生的争吵与矛盾,但是对于女生来讲的话,我所听到的可能就不一样的女生可能更加的在意之前所发生的矛盾,并且可能会想一切办法去报复对方,当然这也是男生和女生的之间,不同于男生神经比较大条,所以在处理问题的时候可能不会太在意那么多的感性的问题,而女生就相对于来说比较内敛,而且女生也比较敏感,她们更加的容易受不了宿舍矛盾对自己带来的灾难性的影响。但我觉得总的来说,如果大家都是很生气的话,那么消停几天,反正都要朝夕相处,最后稍微大方一点,也不用再纠结于之前那件事情。道歉就假装对之前那件事情完全不知情,这样的话给对方一个台阶下,我相信两个人也很快就能和好。
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室友之间发生矛盾怎么办?
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openresty/1.11.2.4必读!7个大学室友间常见的矛盾,赠你解决妙招
7 Common Roommate Problems & How to Solve Them
遇见奇葩室友该如何是好?
For a lot of new collegiettes, freshman year is their first time sharing a room with someone else. While dorm life and roommate bonding are wonderful experiences to have and are trademarks of college life, they can also be the source of some drama. 大学第一学年,大一新生首次与他人共居一室。良好的宿舍生活和室友关系是大学生能拥有的美妙经历,也是大学生活的标志,同时,它们也是快乐与悲伤之源。 Roommate trouble isn’t uncommon, and there are plenty of ways to solve any issues that may arise. Lucky for you, we’ve got your go-to guide of some common roommate problems and ways to fix them, complete with advice from collegiettes! 室友之间出现问题很常见,也有许多种方式去解决任何可能出现的问题。幸运如你,我们会为你们提供一些解决问题的指导方案以及来自一些大学生的建议。
1. She’s messy 1. 她太邋遢 Everyone has a different standard of cleanliness, so it’s not unlikely that you and your roommate may disagree when it comes to the state of your room. It’s safe to say that the both of you will have to make compromises and work a little harder to keep your space clean now that you’re sharing it. 每个人对整洁这件事都有不同的标准,所以,当谈到宿舍卫生时,你和室友的意见可能会有不同。保险起见,你俩最好相互妥协,共同努力保持宿舍良好的卫生环境。 Alex*, a junior at New York University, says that she’s dealt with messy roommates for a couple years. “Sloppy roommates can be a problem, but it’s one of the easier roommate problems to fix,” she says. “There are tons of ways to talk to your roommate and let her know that she needs to be a little bit cleaner. Everyone can be messy at times, so it’s an understandable problem that’s generally easy to approach if you do it right.” 在纽约大学上大三的亚历克斯说:“她与邋遢的室友打交道多年,懒惰可能是个问题,但这较容易解决,让室友知道,她需要再整洁一点点。每个人有时都会邋里邋遢,所以,如果正确处理此事的话,这还是一个可以理解、容易处理的事情。 If your roommate’s messiness is bothering you, it’s best to step up and talk to her about it instead of letting the issue go on. 如果你室友邋遢到确实打扰到你了,你最好站出来,直接跟她讲,而不是让事态继续发展下去。 How to deal 如何解决 Make a chore schedule. No one likes forcing themselves to do chores, but trust us, you’ll be thankful you did it. A cleaning schedule is a great way to divide responsibilities and make sure that your room is clean on a regular basis. It’s best to come up with the schedule at the beginning of the year so you can stick to it – no excuses! 做值日表。没人喜欢强迫自己做家务,但是请相信我们,如果你这么做了,一定会对此心存感激。做清洁值日表是责任分配最好的方式,也会让你们的宿舍总是保持干净整洁。最好年初时就提出做值日表,这样以来,你们就可以坚持—没有借口半途而废! If cleanliness problems arise throughout the semester in spite of the chore schedule, take it up casually with your roommate. The conversation doesn’t always have to be awkward – it can be a quick, “Hey, do you mind picking up your side a bit? My parents are visiting!” or even just a short note on your whiteboard while she’s at class. 整个学期,如果值日表也排了,清洁问题依然存在的话,去找你室友说说吧!这样的对话并不会尴尬—可能会很寥寥几句。“嗨!你介意把你那边收拾一下吗?我父母要来了!”甚至是在她去上课的时候,在白板上帖字条以示提醒。 If the problem gets to be more serious, then consider approaching her about it. Remind her that it’s your space, too, and it’s her responsibility to help keep it looking nice. If the problem gets way out of hand and your roommate gets angry or aggressive about it, consider taking the problem to your resident adviser (RA) or another member of Residence Life – they’re there to help you with housing and roommate issues, so take advantage of their assistance! 如果问题变得更为麻烦,那么就考虑面对面跟她讲吧!提醒她,这也是她居住的地方,她有责任让屋里看起来整洁漂亮。如果问题变得难以处理,室友很生气,语言也具有进攻性,记得把问题提交给宿舍管理顾问或是其他的宿舍管理员—他们就是专门帮助你处理宿舍和室友问题的人,所以要好好利用他们的帮助。
2. She’s mean 2. 她太小气 Even if you and your roommate have the same sleep schedules, are both tidy and respect each other’s belongings, problems can still pop up. Some roommates simply just don’t get along. 即使你和室友的作息时间一致,你俩都爱干净,也尊重对方的财产,问题还是会如约而至。反正有些室友就是不知道如何愉快相处。 Katherine, a senior at the University of Rochester, says that one semester she was randomly assigned a roommate who appeared to hate her for no reason. “Whenever possible, she would get up and leave when I if we were hanging out with a group of people, she would make faces anytime I said anything and she only spoke to me if she had something mean or condescending to say,” Katherine says. 罗彻斯特大学大四生凯瑟琳说,某个学期,她被随机分到了一个室友,不知道什么原因,这个室友就是看她不爽。只要凯瑟琳进屋,室友就起身出门;如果同寝室的一群人一起出去,不论凯瑟琳说什么,室友总是一副臭脸,她讲话时也总是意有所指并且趾高气扬。 Eventually, Katherine took their problems to a mediator and began to get them sorted out. 最终,凯瑟琳向调解员咨询了她们之间的问题,并且开始着手解决这些问题。 How to deal 如何解决 Communicate with your roommate and with others, if necessary. “My advice … would be to communicate about the little things early on, because they can escalate quickly and become unbearable,” Katherine says. 和室友交流,如果有必要的话,也和其他人交流下吧。凯瑟琳说:“我的建议是最好在事情发展初期就开始沟通,因为问题会迅速变糟,变得难以承受。” No matter what it is that’s bothering you, it’s best to address it sooner rather than later. If your roommate is making mean comments, ignoring you or just plain being disrespectful, try to nip the problem in the bud and address it as soon as you can. This will save you from months of frustration and an awkward, overdue conversation that would otherwise happen at the end of the year (or never!). 无论是什么让你感到困扰,最好尽早解决问题。如果你的室友对你有不好的评论,忽视你或是不尊重你,那么你要试着将问题消灭在萌芽状态,尽早提出来。这会使你少去几个月的沮丧和尴尬,不要将这次谈话拖延到年底或是压根不谈。 “Even if you're good about communicating, you might end up with a roommate who dislikes you” Katherine says. “I coped with this by reaching out to other people. My mentor helped me see that the negativity my roommate had towards me said more about her than it did about me, and my friends helped me put things in perspective by finding the humor in the situation.” 凯瑟琳说:“即使你擅长沟通,你也有可能与不喜欢你的室友一言不合。我通过求助他人来处理事情,我的导师让我知道室友对我的消极态度对她的影响更大。我的朋友让我知道要通过用幽默的方式来洞察一切情况。” If you’re having issues that even the two of you can’t figure out, consider taking the problem to counselor. He or she can act as a good mediator and help soothe the tension or even help you relocate if the problem is getting out of hand. 如果你们之间的问题,你俩都处理不了,那么请求助于顾问。他/她可以是个很好的调节者,帮助你减缓紧张的气氛,如果事情失控的话,他还可以帮助你重新安置此问题。
3. She’s absent 3. 她总是不在宿舍 When you pictured your dorm, you may have imagined you and your roomie hanging out, eating snacks and watching chick flicks every night. While that’s not a completely impossible scenario, it’s not always the case. 如果让你畅想宿舍的情景,你可能会想象着,你和室友一同出去,每天晚上吃吃零食看看言情片。然而,这完全是有可能的啊,可是,事实并不总是如此。 When collegiette Ivy first came to Keene State College, she was assigned two roommates. A few weeks later, though, it seemingly dwindled down to just one. “[One of my roommates ended up] sort of moving into someone else's room and would come back to our room only when she needed clothes or when she was drunk and got in a fight with her new ‘roommates,’” Ivy says. 当大学生艾薇刚进基恩州立学院时,她和另外两个女生同宿舍。几周之后,室友似乎减少到只剩下一个。艾薇说:“我的其中一个室友搬到了别人的宿舍,只有她需要拿衣服或是喝醉或是和她新室友有矛盾时,才会回来。” Absent roommates can be tricky, as they’re usually absent for their own reasons. Some girls get invested in their new significant others, make friends in a different building or are simply too busy to hang around the room. There’s nothing wrong with a busy roommate, but it can be kind of a bummer hanging out by yourself when you come home from class! 舍友总是不在宿舍这个问题很棘手,她们之所以会这样总有自己的原因。有些女生有新男友,有朋友在其他楼里或者仅仅是因为太忙而没能待在宿舍。宿舍里有个忙碌的室友本没什么问题,但是当你上课回来,自己独自一人在宿舍,像是游手好闲之人。 How to deal 如何解决 If your roommate’s absence bothers you, try inviting her to hang out on the off days when she does come back to the room. Ask her what she’s been up to lately. If she’s not giving much of an answer, don’t pry, but do be wary. You want to make sure she’s not getting herself into a bad situation! 如果你室友总是不在宿舍这点让你烦恼,那么她回到宿舍的时候,不妨在放假的时候邀请她和你出去逛逛。问问她最近在忙些什么,如果她并没有给出什么答案,不要打破砂锅问到底,要谨慎。你要确保不让她进入一个糟糕尴尬的局面。 If you’re truly worried about your roomie and where she might be, encourage her to talk with your RA. She could be getting into a sticky situation with a controlling boyfriend or girlfriend or staying out too late and crashing at other people’s rooms who aren’t exactly wanting her there. If you have the chance to have a chat with her, make sure she’s not getting into any unwanted situations. If she is, try to help her out or direct her to the RA or another member of Residence Life who can help her out in her situation. 如果你真的担心室友,担心她在哪里的话,鼓励她去和调解人说说。她可能会遭受到棘手的情况:她有一个控制欲强的男友或女友,或是在外面待到很晚,在别人的宿舍而不受欢迎。如果你有机会找她谈谈,要确保她并没有陷入任何一种讨厌的状况。如果她处于这样的情况,试着帮帮她,让她去找调解人,或是其他的宿舍管理员,他们或许可以帮助她摆脱困境。
4. She’s always in the room 4. 她总是待在宿舍 While having a roommate who’s never there can be a bummer, so can having a roommate who’s constantly in the room. It’s always fun to have some roomie bonding time, but you’ll need a break from each other once in a while. It’s easy to get sick of each other when you’re sharing a small space for at least a whole school year! 有一个从来不在宿舍待着的室友很不愉快,那么,有个成天待在宿舍的室友同样很烦。和室友共度美好时光固然有趣,但是有时你还是需要个人空间啊!在一整个学年里,如果你们共处一小间房,很容易互生厌恶。 How to deal 如何解决? If your roommate is in your room around the clock (except for class time), you might want to have a chat with her. If it’s the case that she’s simply not involved in anything else or doesn’t have many other friends, encourage her to commit to something on campus. Perhaps even consider taking her to a meeting of a club or organization that you’re a member of. Clubs, organizations, sports or on-campus jobs can be a great way to spend your time, get involved and meet new people. You may be able to get your roommate involved while scoring yourself some alone time! 如果你的室友整日都在宿舍(除了上课时间),你或许想找她谈谈。如果她只是没有参与任何活动或是没有什么朋友的话,鼓励她去参加校园活动。或许你要考虑带她去俱乐部或是去你加入的组织。俱乐部,组织,体育运动或是校园工作是花时间、参与和认识新朋友很好的方式。你可以让你的室友参与进去,这样就给自己匀出了私人时间。 It could be the case where your roommate is more introverted and less involved on campus, so your room is her natural retreat. If this is the case, steer her toward the library or student lounges on campus, or bring her along to one of your club meetings. 也可能是你的室友内向,极少参与校园活动,所以宿舍就很自然成了她的休息寓所。如果是这样的话,带她去图书馆或是校园的学生休息室,或者带她去你常参加的俱乐部。 If she’s not responding to your suggestions, remind her that there are plenty of other places on campus to hang out and get work done. If it’s necessary, remind her that your shared room belongs to you as well, and that you’d appreciate having the room to yourself once in a while. 如果她对你的建议毫无反应,提醒她,校园里有许多可以逛,可以去完成工作。如果必要的话,也要提醒她,你也是宿舍的一份子,你也想有的时候单独待在宿舍。 For a lot of new collegiettes, freshman year is their first time sharing a room with someone else. While dorm life and roommate bonding are wonderful experiences to have and are trademarks of college life, they can also be the source of some drama. 大学第一学年,大一新生首次与他人共居一室。良好的宿舍生活和室友关系是大学生能拥有的美妙经历,也是大学生活的标志,同时,它们也是快乐与悲伤之源。 Roommate trouble isn’t uncommon, and there are plenty of ways to solve any issues that may arise. Lucky for you, we’ve got your go-to guide of some common roommate problems and ways to fix them, complete with advice from collegiettes! 室友之间出现问题很常见,也有许多种方式去解决任何可能出现的问题。幸运如你,我们会为你们提供一些解决问题的指导方案以及来自一些大学生的建议。
5. She’s nocturnal 5. 她是夜猫子 In college, it’s likely that your sleeping patterns will be all over the place – until you get into a good routine, at least. There are some classes that start as early as 7 a.m. and others that end as late as 10 p.m., so it’s easy to see that students’ schedules may vary by quite a bit. 在大学,你们的作息模式还真说不准—除非你养成好的作息习惯。有些课设在早上7点,还有些晚上10点才下课。所以说,学生作息大有不同这点较常见。 This was the case with Kira*, a third-year student at Northeastern University, and her freshman-year roommate. “I went to sleep with the lights on every night and then woke up at 7 a.m. as she was just going to sleep,” Kira says. 这是东北大学大三生基拉和她室友的情况。“每晚我都不关灯睡觉,直到早上7点醒来。那个时候,室友才刚准备睡觉。” How to deal 如何解决 If you’re not a heavy sleeper, this is something you’ll have to take care of, as you shouldn’t be compromising sleep for your roommate’s convenience. It’s understandable that based off of clubs and class schedules, your sleeping patterns will differ, but you might have to work to find common ground when it comes to bedtime. 如果你的睡眠浅,和室友的作息问题就要格外注意了,因为你不能为了室友的便利而妥协自己的睡眠时间啊!因为要去俱乐部,上课时间不同,你们睡眠时间也会不同,但是当谈到何时睡觉这个问题时,你需要找到你们的共同时间。 If your roommate’s sleeping schedule becomes a problem, first try to communica she may not even know it’s been bothering you. Consider sitting down with her and going over your schedules, trying to figure out the best times you can have some down time – maybe even consider designating specific quiet hours or bed times if it’s necessary. 如果室友的作息时间确实是个问题时,首先你要试着找她谈谈这件事情。她甚至可能都不知道自己有打扰到你。跟她坐在一起,看看你们的时间表,尝试找你们闲暇时的共同时间—倘若有必要的话,或许你可以考虑制定某段安静的时间或休息时间。 If it’s something she can’t necessarily fix herself, seek out resources like the library or a student lounge during the day to give her some peace and quiet, and ask her to do the same for you at night. If you just want to stay in your room, think about the alternatives, like sleeping masks or earplugs. 如果她未必能解决自己的事情,那就去寻找诸如图书馆或是学生休息室这样的资源,白天去那里,会给她带来宁静。让她晚上有时也可以去。如果你只是想待在宿舍,考虑其他选择,比如敷睡眠面膜或是插着耳机听歌。
6. She always borrows your personal belongings 6. 她总是问你借东西 For some new college students, having a roommate is like having the sister they never had growing up: double the closet space, sleepovers every night and tons of clothes to share. For others, a roommate is just a roommate, and their belongings are personal, not to be shared or borrowed. No matter how you treat your property and privacy, you should make sure your roommate is on the same page. 对于大一新生来说,舍友就像是没在一起长大的姐妹。共用橱柜,每晚都共度一室,衣服也可以分享。对于别人而言,舍友就是舍友,她们的东西是私有的,不是共享,也不外借。不论你如果对待你的财物和隐私,你要确保室友的东西可不是随便外借的。 How to deal 怎么做 As soon as you’ve settled in, you should discuss boundaries with your roommate. This could even be done while you’re crafting your roommate contract or cleaning schedule. Make sure you tell her specifically what you’re comfortable sharing and what you’d rather keep to yourself. This can range from sharing clothes to sitting on each other’s beds and chairs. Everyone treats her privacy and property differently, so make sure to remain open-minded and respectful! 入住宿舍之后,你就得跟室友讨论各自的底线。你可以和室友约法三章或是制定值日表。你要跟她说清楚你的什么东西可以共用,什么东西只能自己用。这可以是从借衣服穿或是坐在彼此的床上和椅子上。每个人对待自己的私人用品都不同,因此,一定要有开放的头脑和尊重的态度。 If a borrowing issue arises as the semester continues on, you will have to address it. If she happens to borrow a scarf off the back of your chair for a day, simply mention that you’d rather she didn’t do it. If the issue persists even after the conversation, take it to an RA, who may be able to help you out. 随着学期时间的推移,借东西这个问题还是出现,你就不得不去解决这个问题了。如果她向你借一天椅子后面那条条围巾,你就说不想让她那么做好了。如果你找她谈话之后,问题持续发酵,那么就去找管理人员,他有可能会帮助你们解决问题。
7. She brings in a “third roommate” 7. 她老带其他人来宿舍 “The more the merrier” isn’t always a true phrase, especially when it comes to sharing a relatively small space. Unfortunately, some roommates don’t think about this and bring in friends and significant others to hang out – all the time. “越多越开心”并不总是一个好词儿,尤其是当你们要共享相对较小的空间时。不幸的是,有些室友就是不懂这点,总是带着朋友或男朋友来—一直都这样。 “I live with three other girls, and we were all best friends, but [my other roommates and I] don't talk to one of them now,” says collegiette Joanna*. “She had her boyfriend move in with us for the summer without asking us, so he is at our place 24/7, [eating all our food and leaving dirty dishes].” 大学生乔安娜说:“我和三个女孩住一间宿舍,我们都是好朋友,但是现在,我和其中一位已经和另外一个室友冷战了。”夏天,在没有得到我们允许的情况下,她和男朋友都住进了宿舍,他每天在我们宿舍有七个小时之久,吃光我们的食物,把脏盘子丢在那里。” While the occasional visitor may be welcome, it’s not cool to let your friends in all the time, especially so often that they essentially become new roommates. 尽管不速之客有时还比较受欢迎,但是让你的朋友一直待在宿舍一点都不酷,尤其是他们都快变成了我们的新室友。 How to deal 怎么做 Joanna says that communication is key, as it is with so many other roommate problems. “I let her know first semester that this wasn’t okay with me, and things were much better second semester,” she says. So, right off the bat, make sure you address the issue. 乔安娜说,沟通是关键,这和其他舍友问题一样。“第一个学期的时候我都跟她讲不喜欢这样,第二学期,事情似乎有好转,所以要确保立即解决问题。 While it might feel a little awkward telling your roommate to kick her friends out, she has to realize that your room is a shared space. If you’re having trouble coming to an agreement, look at your schedules and find a way to fit in times or days where it’s acceptable to have guests. 尽管不让室友带朋友来宿舍很是尴尬,但是她必须知道的是宿舍是一个共享空间。如果你们无法达成共识,看看你们的时间表,找到合适的能够接待客人的时间。 For example, let her know that she’ll have the room to herself and she’s free to have friends over if and when you go home for the weekend. The night before a huge exam, on the other hand? Probably not. 例如,让她知道,周末你回家的时候,她可以独自享有宿舍,也可以带朋友过来。换句话说,大型考试前夜再这样的话,可能不行! While your experience sharing a room may not always go smoothly, it will, all in all, be rewarding. As long as you’re communicating effectively with your roommate and letting her know of any issues that arise, your relationship shouldn’t suffer. Roommate bonds are like no other relationship and can last a lifetime, so don’t let silly little habits get in the way of an awesome friendship! 虽然合住的经历可能并不总是顺利,但是总的来说,对你还是有好处的。只要和室友进行有效沟通,让她知道任何已经发生的问题,你们的关系不会受到影响。室友之间的关系不像其他关系,这种关系是可以维持一生一世的,所以,千万不要让一些愚蠢的小习惯去破坏一段美好的友谊。}

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